Disclaimer: I fully recognize the ridiculousness of this Rube Goldberg contraption.
I also recognize that this is likely not practical for anyone enjoying this fine video of me extricating myself from a tricky situation. I share this as an illustration of the lengths that you may need to go in the normalization of your life.
And this concept does not apply just to the disabled. In my book, if there is no obvious solution, consider improvisation.
While I have been known to weld up assorted spare parts to build my way out of a bind, I also found Harbor Freight to be a great source of gear.
Anything that works is good. While you are likely not the only guy with this problem, it does not mean that there is an off the shelf remedy.
Even though some of my ideas are not well thought through, and others a bit hazardous, it has been my experience that the very best way to get some problems fixed is to take a chance on whatever makes sense to you.
If your partner, or kids, or whoever make fun of your idea, so much the better.
I learned many years ago that dignity is not a concept that I should concern myself with.
PS: I truly DO have a 1/4 ton hoist bolted to the wall in my closet